Handling a Matter Wisely - Pastor Stacey Shiflett
- Pastor Shiflett
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Handling a Matter Wisely
Proverbs 16:20 “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.”
Wisdom is not merely knowing what to say - it is knowing when, where, how, and to whom to say it.
A matter handled wisely produces good; a matter handled foolishly produces grief.
I. The People that are Responsible
Not every person is qualified to handle every matter.
God’s people are given guidance on how to wisely handle matters.
A. In the Old Testament – People were directed toward God-ordained Leadership
Exodus 18
15 And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to enquire of God:
· 16 When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.
Moses was overwhelmed because every dispute, disagreement, and decision came to him.
Exodus 18:15–16 – The people brought their matters so they could “enquire of God.”
Moses’ role was:
To judge righteously
To clarify truth
To apply God’s law
But Jethro taught him something vital: matters must be delegated to wise, capable men.
READ Deuteronomy 17:8–13
When a matter was too hard, too complex, or too controversial, it was brought to the place God chose.
The decision rendered there was to be respected and followed.
God establishes authority structures so that matters are handled properly.
When everyone handles their own matters without submission, chaos results.
B. In the New Testament – They were directed to the church and to other saints
· 1 Corinthians 6:1 Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
Paul rebuked believers for taking internal disputes before unbelieving courts.
Why? Because:
The church is to be spiritually discerning.
Saints should be able to judge matters among themselves.
Public litigation damages the testimony of the church and its members.
NOTE: This does not pertain to clear violations of the law.
Example: A person that sexually assaults or abuses another person should be reported immediately.
That is not a “matter”. That is a crime.
This message is about a handling a matter – not solving crimes.
Spiritual people should be capable of handling spiritual matters.
A church full of saved people who cannot resolve conflict is a church lacking spiritual maturity.
II. The Patience that is Required
· Proverbs 18:13 “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
Many matters are mishandled because of haste.
Listen Completely Hear both sides. Ask questions.
Clarify details. Get all the facts!
Premature conclusions are the breeding ground of injustice.
Resist emotional reactions that are unreasonable and hasty.
Illustration: Solomon and the two mothers (1 Kings 3)
Two women. One baby. One dead child. No witnesses.
He searched out the matter.
When he suggests dividing the child, the true mother reveals herself.
Wisdom uncovers truth without destroying innocence.
When emotions are a key factor, feelings flare, hurtful words fly.
Assumptions multiply. Damage spreads. Unnecessary pain is inflicted.
Sometimes the wisest answer is, “Let me pray about this.”
III. The Prudence that is Recommended
· Proverbs 25:2 “It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.”
Wisdom involves discernment.
Knowing when it is your business and when it isn’t is a huge issue.
Some things need to be told. (if not knowing something will cause others great hurt, shame or damage…)
Some thing do NOT need to be told.
Not everything must be exposed.
God conceals things in His sovereignty.
Illustration: A good doctor does not prescribe medicine before running tests.
Why? Because symptoms can mislead.
Emotional diagnosis leads to spiritual malpractice.
Wise leaders do not act on:
Partial information or “gut feelings.”
Emotional testimony
Social media narratives, comments and hype
They search thoroughly FOR THE TRUTH.
Discern the motives and the true nature of the matter.
Sometimes the issue presented is not the real issue.
Prudence asks:
What is really happening here?
Is this misunderstanding, rebellion, insecurity, or sin?
Is correction needed—or reconciliation?
Should this matter be a warning to others or should it be handled with compassion and restoration?
IV. The Privacy that is Respectful
· Ecclesiastes 10:20 Curse not the king, no not in thy thought; and curse not the rich in thy bedchamber: for a bird of the air shall carry the voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the matter.
Even whispered words travel.
Most matters are ruined by loose tongues.
· Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
A talebearer reveals secrets.
Illustration – Ham and Noah (Genesis 9)
Ham saw his father’s nakedness and told his brothers.
Shem and Japheth walked backward and covered him.
One repeated the matter. Two concealed it.
One brought shame. Two preserved honor.
Illustration – Jesus and the woman taken in adultery (John 8)
The accusers made the matter public.
Jesus handled it wisely.
He slowed the momentum.
He averted a tragedy.
He exposed their hypocrisy.
He restored a sinner.
He handled a volatile matter with wisdom and mercy.
As a result, He stopped a stoning, saved a woman, shamed the hypocrites and taught a lesson all at one time.
· Proverbs 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
Illustration - Joseph and his brothers
Joseph could have repeated their offense.
He could have exposed them.
He could have retaliated.
Instead, he handled the matter privately.
He covered it, tested them secretly, and restored them.
· James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
A single spark in dry woods can burn thousands of acres.
The tongue can set a forest on fire.
In the same way:
If you are working to solve a problem, we should guard confidentiality.
If someone entrusts you with a matter, protect it. Pray over it. Do not parade it.
Avoid gossip disguised as concern. “I need you to pray about something…”
Many matters are spread unnecessarily under the cloak of spirituality!
When in your own local church, always do your best to protect the unity.
Again – this is not involving corruption, crimes, embezzlement, abuse or blatant disregard for the law.
This about private and personal matters that can be biblically resolved.
Every church, family, and ministry lives or dies by how it handles private matters.
Conclusion: Proverbs 16:20 ends with this: “Whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.”