Are You In A Cult? - Pastor Stacey Shiflett

This article is the transcript of my podcast from September 5, 2025. This episode probably generated more emails and feedback than a large percentage of my other 50+ episodes. Watch this podcast on YouTube here:

Are You in a Cult?

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Stacey Shiflett Podcast. I am thrilled that you would take time out of your day to tune in, and I hope that today's podcast will be a help. It has been several weeks since we did a podcast, and the last one I did was entitled "When the Brook Dries Up." I was thrilled with the amount of feedback I got — emails and phone calls from different folks — and it really ministered to their hearts, helped them get some clarity about some things, and the will of God for their life. That is always an encouragement.

Today's podcast is a subject that has been on my mind for several days. I woke up very early this morning — on this Friday morning, September the 5th — and I said, I have got to get up early and get this podcast done. I have a busy day. We are in the first week of school. We have chapel every morning here at Calvary Baptist Church, Calvary Baptist School. The first week of school, we have chapel every morning. We call it a school revival — we just kind of kick the school year off with a spiritual emphasis. Brother Jared Young, my wife's nephew from down in Cleveland, North Carolina, is here with his wife and their kids, and his messages have been absolutely phenomenal. God has used him to be a blessing to our hearts.

Today is the last day of the revival and I have a short window to try to get this done before the day starts. But I woke up early this morning with this thought on my heart, and I quietly got dressed, left my family in the bed, and got down here to my office to try and get this off of my heart.

The Question

The subject I want to deal with today is one that, as far as I am concerned, is extremely relevant. The question I want to deal with today is this: are you in a cult? More specifically — and my audience is predominantly independent Baptist — is the Baptist church that you are a member of, and the pastor that you are sitting under, falling under the qualities of a cult? Well, that is a serious question. It is actually a gut-wrenching question.

I want to preface this episode by saying that I have been in a church in my life, for a short time, that I am 100% positive was a cult. Now, there are different levels and degrees of churches that would fall under that category. Some are extreme. Some are a little more subtle — it takes a while for you to pick up on it. But after a while, these characteristics become obvious. And if you are the husband, the dad, the spiritual leader of your home, you may find yourself having the conversation with your wife or your family, or even in your own heart, saying: Is my church a cult? Is my pastor a cult leader? Is there an unbiblical, unhealthy atmosphere that I am subjecting my family to?

This is a very real problem in the independent Baptist realm. There is just about every flavor of church you can possibly imagine, and about every style of leadership — from extremely passive, weak leaders to overbearing, dictator-type leaders. The Bible calls it lording over the heritage, and we will get to that in just a minute. But if the church that you are in has more than just a couple of the traits we are going to look at today, you might be in a cult. You might be in a place that is unhealthy for you and your family — a place where even though there are positive aspects, things you are thankful for, things you are grateful for, there are these other elements that just seem to constantly tilt the scale out of balance. You leave church going, "What is going on? Why is the pastor handling situations like this? Why does he continue to demand loyalty and money?" There is just a lot of squirrely things going on, a lot of things that just do not add up. And sometimes it becomes escalating — more intense — and you feel like the pastor is unhinged or untrustworthy. These are red flags.

If you are in a cult, you are going to be taught to ignore them. You are going to be taught to subdue and squelch any questions, any feelings of discontentment or confusion, anything that just does not add up. And I just want to say this morning: if you are in a church like that, you need to leave. You really need to leave. And if you are scared to even sit down with your pastor to have this conversation, that is another sign that you are in a cult.

If one of my church members walked up to me and said, "Pastor Shiflett, I need to talk to you," I would say, "Absolutely." We would walk into my office — and many times, depending on who it is, I will have my wife there, or someone else, just to create accountability. I very rarely meet with somebody about something sticky by myself. But I would say, "Okay, what is on your heart? Talk to me." If someone were to say to me, "Pastor Shiflett, I listened to this podcast and I think I am in a cult," I would say, "Okay, tell me what is going on." And I would address those concerns and do everything I could to find out what I was doing — or what our church was doing — that would even come close to falling within that category.

The word gets thrown around a lot, and many times you can look at the life of the person using that phrase and just go, okay, they do not know what they are talking about, or they are just bitter, or they are hurt, or whatever the case might be. So I am being very aware this morning, as I do this podcast, that this is a very serious accusation — or label — to attach to a pastor or a church.

Common Red Flags of a Cult

Let me just run through some things before you think about clicking off and saying, "Well, my church is not a cult."

Ask yourself these questions:

• Can members leave your church without being punished?

• Can they question what is going on without fear of retribution or blowback?

• Are the finances of your church accountable and transparent?

• Do you know what they are doing with the money?

• Are you afraid to ask?

• Is there a regular reporting and transparency with the money — a financial statement at the end of every year where you can look at where the money is going?

• Is there leadership accountability?

• Can you question anything the pastor does or says without being accused of being a traitor, or being lambasted with Bible verses?

• Does the pastor control access to information?

• Is he heavily involved in micromanaging every aspect of your life?

• Is any kind of dissent or disagreement labeled as evil, dangerous, demonic, or of Satan?

Here is one to start with: if you are not even allowed to think or question whether or not you are in a cult — you might be in a cult. If you feel guilty just for listening to this episode, if you feel like you are going to get in trouble just for clicking on this video, and you do not want anybody to know you are questioning whether or not you are in a cult — if your pastor tells you, "Do not listen to that podcast, do not listen to that preacher" — and I am not talking about because of false doctrine and heresy; I am talking about because he is afraid you are going to hear something that reveals the kind of person he is — you are probably in a cult.

If your pastor knew that you were listening to this podcast and shamed you or rebuked you or reminded you that he is God's man and that you are touching God's anointed even by asking that question, yeah — you are in a cult. He might even call your name from the pulpit, call the name of your family from the pulpit, and make a public example out of you to shame you into submission. "This is what is going to happen to you if you do not do what we tell you to do." You are in a cult. Okay? There is no question about it. I cannot imagine, as a pastor, ever doing that.

What Is a Cult?

The definitions are out there — look it up. If you have a sneaky feeling, if there are red flags, and you go, "Is this a cult? Is this what a cult feels like? Is this what a cult looks like?" — sometimes it sneaks up on you. Sometimes it is blatant. You walk in the door the first time and you go, "Man, this place is weird. I am out of here." But there are places where people grew up there, went to school there, were in the youth group, sat under that pastor for years — and they do not even know they are in a cult. That is just all they know. They go to Bible college there. Sometimes they are on staff.

I talked to a man just a couple of days ago who said, "I was at a church my whole life. I did not realize after I left what a cult it was, and how blind we were, how closed off and shut off we were from reality." Only when you step back and get a bird's eye view does it start to fall into place, and you go, "Man, what in the world?" And you almost have to go through a deprogramming and a detox. A lot of people struggle with something almost like a PTSD-type mentality because they have been so psychologically abused. The Bible has been knocked upside their head like a 2x4 about everything, there is no room to breathe, there is no liberty, and they leave confused. That is the characteristic of being in an environment that would be a cult.

A cult is a group — religious, political, self-help, whatever — that exerts undue influence over its members through coercive, manipulative, or deceptive methods, such as controlling information, isolating members, and punishing dissent. This is a very harmful and detrimental style of leadership.

1. Authoritarian Leadership

Now, I would consider myself a strong leader. I am vocal. I am dogmatic. Pretty much a black-and-white kind of guy when it comes to different issues — there is not a lot of gray area. But you give people a chance to figure it out, to grow in the Lord, you love them and bring them along, understanding that they may never get where they need to be, but you do not treat them like a second-rate Christian because they do not do everything exactly like you say.

A lot of these churches claim to be biblical, but a lot of what they do is very unbiblical. They deny or distort core doctrines of the Bible, such as the priesthood of the believer and soul liberty of the believer.

One of the first red flags is authoritarian leadership where the leader is unquestionable — where criticism equals disloyalty and questions equal betrayal. In 1 Peter chapter 5, the Bible is clear.

Verse 1 says:

• 1 Peter 5:1-3  The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.

This right here is really one of the main defining aspects of a biblical church and a healthy pastor-church-member relationship: a pastor whose style of leadership crosses the line where he becomes lords over God's heritage. That phrase — "lords over" — means to be the master of, to subdue, to bring someone under your power. To exercise lordship. You are basically demanding unquestioned obedience, loyalty, and submission out of your church members. And that is a bad thing.

2. Unreasonable Demands on Your Time and Money

Here at Calvary Baptist Church, we have a host of ministries. When people join the church, I tell them there is plenty for you to do — find your gifts, your interests, your burdens, where God has laid things on your heart, and we will get you plugged in. But I do not demand my staff to be up here after hours. I encourage them: go home, spend time with your family.

The Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:15, "I will very gladly spend and be spent for you." The sign of a healthy church is where the pastor is not demanding that you spend yourself for him, or for the church, or for the ministry — where faithful people are basically stuck in service mode and they can never go spend time with their family. It is just always something. And if you are not there, if you are not involved, if you are not doing this and that and giving to this and that — you feel like a dog, like a second-rate Christian, and you are told you do not have a love for Christ, you do not have a burden for the ministry, and it is your fault the church is not growing. That is an unreasonable, unhealthy demand placed on people, and that is another sign (of a cult).

Paul went on to say in 2 Corinthians 12:16-18, "But be it so, I did not burden you: nevertheless, being crafty, I caught you with guile. Did I make a gain of you by any of them whom I sent unto you? I desired Titus, and with him I sent a brother. Did Titus make a gain of you? walked we not in the same spirit? walked we not in the same steps?"

Paul said, I never asked you to do anything I was not doing, and I did not want to be a burden on you. In other places he says he did not want to be a financial burden. Paul built tents on the side just so he would not put a financial strain on the church. That is the opposite of these totalizing demands that dictate your major life choices and dominate your time and money. These are things you should be watching out for.

3. Information Control

Another red flag is information control — limits on outside media, forbidden reading material, being forbidden from contact with someone who believes differently or might criticize the ministry. If your pastor stands up in the pulpit and says, "Do not listen to that podcast, do not listen to that preacher" — not because of false doctrine and heresy, but because he is afraid you are going to hear something that opens your eyes to the reality of where you are — that is information control. Loyalty is used as a weapon. Hearing the other side before you make your mind up is labeled as treason, disloyalty, or faithlessness to the church.

Proverbs 18:13 says the opposite: He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

It is beyond my comprehension how somebody could sit in a church and allow themselves to be put into a position where the pastor gets up and says, "Take my word for it. Do not look into it. Do not ask any questions. Do not research it." That is a cult.

In fact, the Apostle Paul in Acts 17:11 commended the Bereans. He said they were more noble than those in Thessalonica. Why? Because they received the word with all readiness of mind and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. They sat and listened to Paul preach with an open heart and open mind. But then they went home, got their Bibles out, got their scrolls out, and they searched the scriptures to double-check and make sure that what that man said was the truth. And any pastor that tells you not to do that is a dictator. He is a pope. And you are in a cult.

If I get up in the pulpit and say something, and you come to me the next day and say, "Preacher, I looked that up and that is not what happened" — I am going to correct that. I am going to fix that. And I am not going to fuss at you and say, "You should not have gone and researched that. You should have just listened to me." No. I do not want to be wrong. I want everything that comes out of my mouth to be true, honest, and factual.

The phone calls and emails I get from church members who have no idea what is really going on because they have been forbidden to even look into it — you need to get out of there. I am not afraid of the truth. I am not scared of the truth, and I am not infallible. If I say something that is off and you know it, tell me.

If I bring a man on staff and I stand up in the pulpit and say, "Yeah, people are saying this guy is under investigation for sexually abusing a minor, but do not believe it, it is not true" — are you serious? That is unbelievable. And it happens. Is it a sin to Google somebody? Is it a sin to do a background check on someone before you put them to work with young people and children? Because that is what we do here. Everybody that works with children has to submit to a background check. Be careful of any ministry that suppresses factual information and discourages diligent research.

This is connected to a biblical doctrine called the priesthood of the believer and the individual soul liberty. That is a Baptist distinctive — the God-given right and responsibility of every believer to read the scriptures, believe the scriptures, and obey the scriptures as the Holy Spirit of God convicts and leads them, without coercion from a man, a church, or an organization. Every person is going to stand directly before God and give an account of himself to God.

Romans 14:5, 12 "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind... So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." There is one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. Nobody should come in between you and Jesus Christ. No pastor has the right to do the work of the Holy Spirit in your life and tell you every move to make — whether or not to buy that car, buy that house. I tell my people: be rooted in Christ, build a relationship with Jesus, get in your Bible, know your Bible, read your Bible, pray, and if they do that, the Holy Spirit is going to lead them in the right path. I do not have to micromanage every aspect of somebody's life. We do not force our beliefs and opinions on people. I preach, I pray, I try to be as persuasive as I can and give Bible for it. But at the end of the day, I do not twist anybody's arm or put my foot on their neck and make them do things.

4. Unbiblical Emphasis on Conformity

Another point I want to touch on is an unbiblical emphasis on conformity, never giving people a chance to grow. People get saved and they grow in grace. Some grow faster than others. Some take years. Some grow in leaps and bounds depending on their hunger, obedience, and receptiveness to the truth. But if you are not careful, you get pushed into this cookie-cutter mold where everybody has to be exactly the same, and you cannot question it. Many times they do not even give you Bible for it. There is no room to learn, to improve, no opportunity for the Holy Spirit to show you things.

Our family has personal standards, preferences — things we do out of conviction or just out of the way we have grown. Some of it I have a lot of Bible for, and some of it I do not have as much Bible for, but these are things that, as I have grown in the Lord, I felt like God pointed us in that direction. But I do not get up in the pulpit and preach all of my preferences and personal opinions as if they are unquestionable truth and force everybody to comply and conform. I give people a chance to grow. If they come to me and say, "What is going on?" I say, "This is why we do it. This is what I believe the Bible is talking about. I want you to be fully persuaded in your whole heart." And when people do come along and those things change in their lives, they never can say I forced them. They say, "The Lord showed me." Well, good — praise the Lord. But treating people differently because they do not dot every "i" and cross every "t" — that is something you need to be very careful about as a church member.

5. Us Versus Them Mentality

Here is another one: an us-versus-them mentality where outsiders are looked at as spiritually inferior or dangerous. There is no fellowship with other churches in the area because none of them are right with God, and the pastors are all a bunch of heathens. I have a good fellowship with a number of pastors in the Maryland area. I preach for them and they preach for me. They may pastor differently from me, and I pastor differently from them, but I will have them in to preach in chapel or in our services, and we talk on the phone, and we fellowship. Just be careful about how your church treats people they would consider different or not like them.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-44; "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."

That is how you are supposed to treat people — even people who despitefully use you and persecute you. Just love them. Pray for them.

6. Deception and Bait and Switch

Another aspect of a cult is a lot of deception — a lot of bait and switch, where people get in and then do not know what they are getting into until they are already there. They hide certain beliefs or practices from newcomers, get the hook in them, and pull them in. I am the exact opposite of that. I have people come to me all the time who have only visited the church two or three times and say, "I want to join." I say, "Whoa, hang on just a second. Let us make sure this is where you want to be. Come a while. Enroll in our Principles of Growth discipleship program. Listen to the preaching. I want you to understand what we are about, what we teach, what we preach, our philosophy, my heart, my burden, my vision, what I expect of church members."

If you are a non-member sitting on the pew, there is zero expectation of you. I do not expect you to tithe. I do not expect you to come back on Sunday night. But if you are a member, that changes everything. And I do not want to put all this pressure and expectation on a new member until they understand what is expected of them. I do not guilt-trip people. Do I believe a person should join a church? Absolutely. Your name ought to be on the roll. But I do not want anybody joining and six months later going, "Whoa, I had no idea y'all believed that. I did not know that is what you expect of church members." That is what cults do — they get you in, trap you, make it to where you cannot leave, and make you feel guilty for leaving.

7. No Financial Transparency

Another sign of a cult is no financial transparency. If your pastor can walk into the office and say, "Write me a check for this" — without even telling you what it is for, just writing checks payable to himself — you better watch out. You better be careful of any pastor who spends the church's money without ever consulting anybody, who has no reporting system where the church can see where the money goes. Tithes and offerings coming in the plate every week, and you have no idea what is being done with it — that is a problem!

If there is never a business meeting, never an annual report of expenditures made available to the church, that is a problem. That is not the pastor's money. That is God's money. Those are His tithes and His offerings. The pastor is a steward and owes the church a detailed explanation. If there is no tracking method for where every dollar goes and what it is for, that is a problem. If the church constantly raises money for things that never happen — playground equipment, a church van, new pews, a new sound system — and then the church turns right around and buys those things on a credit card while making monthly payments, and you cannot account for where the raised money went — that is actually misappropriation of funds. If the state were to come into your church right now and run an audit, would somebody go to jail?

Every dime that comes to the plate at Calvary Baptist Church is accounted for — every penny. Every meal I put on the church credit card, every tank of gas, every box of staples from Office Max — I turn in a receipt, and it goes into that category. And if I do not, my business office will email me and ask for it, because I trained them to do that. My staff will hear from me if they do not hold me accountable to that. Be careful about pastors who have unquestionable control of the finances, where there is always a money need but never any money, where stewardship campaigns raise funds for things that never happen and nobody ever knows how much was raised or where it went. Watch out. There is a problem.

8. No Leadership Accountability

No leadership accountability is another one. You cannot go to the pastor with concerns over things you do not understand or agree with. He constantly reminds you he is God's anointed, and if you ask him a question or disagree with him, you are going against God's anointed. He constantly refers to himself as God's man. There is a two-tier justice system — he and his family can do things you cannot do. They are untouchable. They do not owe anybody an explanation. He surrounds himself with yes-men who cannot question or disagree. That is a problem.

9. No Legitimate Exit

I am going to leave you with this last one: there is no legitimate biblical exit for you and your family. You cannot leave the church without fear of harassment, smear campaigns, your family being torn apart, the pastor dictating God's will for your life, and everybody who leaves being treated like a rebel who got out of God's will.

Suppose you come to me and say, "Pastor Shiflett, I feel like God is moving us. We are going to another state." I am going to give you my opinion about whether or not I think it is a good idea. But at the end of the day, if you come to me and say, "I have prayed about it. This is God's will for my family" — I am going to say, "We love you. We appreciate everything you did while you were here. We are going to miss you. If you leave and you realize you missed God's will, just promise me you will come back. The door is always open." I am not going to tell everybody in the church to unfriend you, block you, not talk to you because you left. That is what cult leaders do.

When I was pastoring in South Carolina, I had a good family come to me — active, involved, close to me. The husband said he felt like God wanted him to move several states over. I told him honestly that I did not feel good about it. I shared my concerns about his family's pattern of ups and downs. But he said they had prayed about it and felt it was what they needed to do — his parents were getting older and he needed to be there for them. I told him, "If you get there and realize you missed God's will, please do not stay. Do not be too proud to come back."

They left. And needless to say, things turned out tragically — every one of their children went down a hard road, his wife ended up in prison for the rest of her life, and he was killed. I saw the heartbreak coming, maybe not every detail of it, and I told him that. But you know what? We did not cut him off. Our church did not cut him off. I did not tell our people, "Do not talk to him. Do not have anything to do with him." He made a mistake as a daddy and as a husband, and he paid for it dearly. And when I preached his funeral, I did not walk in and say, "I told you so." I loved on those kids, I hugged them, and I wept as I stood there — tears running down my face — talking about how much I loved that man, how much fun we had together, how much joy we had serving God together. I did not treat those people like dogs and devils because they left our church.

And if nobody can ever leave your church — if there is never a legitimate biblical exit — you are in a cult. I am just telling you.

A Word in Closing

At Calvary Baptist Church, when we vote on something, we do it with a secret ballot — on a piece of paper. You can vote yes or no. You do not put your name on it. I do not say, "All in favor, stand up" and then look around to see who is voting against it so they can be made to feel guilty. We do a secret ballot vote when we have a major decision to make. And I have lost track of how many times it has been 100% in unity — because that is a healthy church, where you can dissent without being treated like a second-rate Christian. Whether it is buying a piano or raising money for something, secret ballot. Put the thing in the offering plate face down. Nobody knows how you voted. I want your true heart, your true feelings, your true will reflected in that vote outcome — not guilt-tripping and manipulation. And if you are in a church that never votes on anything, there is another clue right there.

I could go on and on. It is a passionate subject of mine. God woke me up at 5:30 this morning with this on my heart.

When the church begins to fail, when people begin to leave, cult-style pastors blame everybody else. Their church is imploding because of their own lack of wisdom and their own heavy-handed pastoral leadership style — the lack of trust, the lack of transparency, the lack of character and integrity. They look around and blame somebody else because their ministry is falling apart. Look in the mirror, buddy. You did this to yourself. You did this to your church. You did this to your people by lording over the heritage.

Listen to me — if you are watching or listening to this podcast and your stomach is in knots right now because you are thinking, "That is the church I am in" — and you need to talk to somebody — call me, email me. This is serious. I would not encourage you to just randomly throw that phrase out there and say, "My church is a cult, my pastor is a dictator." That is a serious accusation. But if you need some counsel, if you need somebody who has been there — I said this at the beginning of the podcast: I was in a church one time where the pastor was a dictator. He called out families' names from the pulpit. He ruled with fear tactics, manipulation, intimidation, and guilt. There was no financial transparency. He wrote himself a check twice — for $150,000 each time — and thanked the church for giving him a retirement home. Nobody in the church gave him anything. He just did it. There were question marks over that man's character on a wide variety of things. And if you left, you got blacklisted. That is a cult. I have been in it. I know what it looks like. I know what it smells like.

If you need somebody to talk to, email me. I will call you back. I will try to help you get some clarity. But if you are in a cult — get out. Get your family out. Your kids will be scarred for life. Your wife will be scarred for life. You will be suppressed and forced into submission in a place that is unhealthy.

You are not obligated to stay in that. God bless you. I pray God will give you grace and strength and help to make right decisions and right choices. Getting out of the will of God is a serious thing — make sure you do not do that without a multitude of counselors. There is always safety in that. Until next time, may the Lord richly, richly bless you.

If this speaks to you or if you need help knowing what to do (once you realize you might be in a cult) feel free to contact me at pastorss@cbcdundalk.org 

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