Several years ago, I preached a message on the Pastor's wife. I wrote this parable to illustrate the private thoughts and pain of being the wife to a preacher that will not compromise. My mother was a pastor's wife. My wife is a pastor's wife. My mother-in-law is a pastor's wife. I have four sister-in-laws that are a pastor's wife. My daughter is a missionary's wife. I think I can understand to some degree how they feel sometimes. I hope this little allegory is a blessing to every pastor's wife that reads it. - Bro. Shiflett
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The Ditch Digger’s Wife
An Allegory
Imagine being the wife of a ditch digger. Your husband sets you down and tells you that he wants to dig ditches for a living. It sounds foreign to you, but he embraces his new career with zeal and excitement. You are so proud of him! You just know he will be the best ditch digger ever! You have so much confidence in your man to be able to do it!
But imagine day after day, when he comes home from work and you ask him, “Honey, did you dig a good ditch today?” His reply might be, “Well not really. I bought a brand new shovel, and worked for several hours, but we hit a root. It pretty much took all day. In fact, this root might take a few months to remove before we can actually start digging the ditch, but I’m confident that we will be able soon to build a real nice ditch.”
Weeks pass and turn into months. He leaves the house every day with his shovel, looking forward to digging that ditch. One day you ask him how it is going. He replies, “Well, we finally got that root out of the way. That thing sure was deep! But we got it out and started digging that ditch. We got a few feet and hit a rock. It just will not budge! There is no telling how big it is. We cannot work any more on the ditch until we get that rock out of the way. And I do not think that is the only rock either. It looks like there will be more of them. We will just have to see. I sure do wish we could dig that ditch. I have been so excited about digging a real, nice ditch. But it seems like all I do is cut out roots and dig out rocks.”
You say, “Well Honey, why don’t you dig a ditch somewhere else? It sounds to me like you could dig a better ditch in another field.” And he replies, “Well, I was talking to the boss this morning about that very thing. I told him that if he would let me, I would be glad to take my shovel to another field and start digging a ditch there, but he insisted that he wanted a real nice ditch right here. I told him that I know it does not look like it, but I felt like I was wasting my time as a ditch digger when all I was doing was chopping at roots and clearing out rocks all day. I told him I felt bad getting paid to fight with roots and rocks all day when he was paying me to dig ditches. He assured me that chopping at roots and digging at rocks WAS digging ditches.”
Months roll into years. Your husband has worn out several shovels and even a few axes along the way. One day he comes home all excited! You ask him, “Honey! What is it? You look like you are on top of the world!” With joy he informs you that he finally broke through the roots and the rocks and has been able to start digging that ditch!” You are so proud of him! He takes you out to look at it, and it is a sight to behold! He made it straight, and he made it deep and he made the sides smooth and he is doing a great job. His boss even commended him on his ability to dig ditches and you knew…you just knew that he could dig a ditch if he were given half a chance!
But the next day, he walks in with his shoulders sagging and his head down. You ask him, “Honey, what happened? You look so discouraged!” He looks at you and says, “Darling, I know you won’t believe this, but something bad has happened. Last night while we were sleeping, a pack of wolves got to messing around our ditch and somehow, they knocked all the dirt that we had dug out back into the ditch! That straight, smooth, beautiful ditch is a mess! We will have to spend quite a while getting it back like it was. “ You feel so sorry for him and you ask, “How long do you think it will take?” You are stunned by his answer!
“Well, it depends on who you ask,” he replied. “The boss said it would not take that long. In fact, he did not seem too worried about it. Some ditch diggers from across town drove by and laughed at us and told us to just give up - that we were wasting our time. They were telling us how much ditch they were getting dug and how that they had found a place that did not have any roots or rocks or wolves and they were getting so much done. I asked my boss if it was true that they were making a lot of progress and he said not really. It turns out that they are not digging the same kind of ditch that we are. From the road it looks awesome. But if you get up close, and actually get down in the ditch, you see that theirs isn’t nearly as deep, and it is really not that straight. And the truth is they do have roots and rocks. They just dug their ditch around the roots and where there were rocks, they left them there and just went over them. In fact, you can see the rocks plain as day. They said that it added character, but it looks horrible! When we asked them about the rocks, they said we were judging and that we should not be so mean. My boss said that they were bad about cheating. They are not using shovels – they are using backhoes and trackhoes. They did not even try to hide it! You would think that with all that equipment that they could do something about those rocks, but they do not seem to even notice. He also told me that they were notorious for bribing other ditch diggers to leave their crew and come help them. I just do not know how they can get away with it? They even had a national publication come interview them and take pictures of their ditch to print in the magazine. Of course, they all stood in front of the rocks and by looking at the pictures, you could not tell that they were cheating. Everybody thinks they are the greatest ditch diggers in the world. They are even hosting special classes to teach everybody else how to dig a ditch like theirs. But who wants to?”
Years pass by. Everywhere you go, people ask you what your husband does for a living. You tell them that he is a ditch digger. Some think it is a dumb job. Some people are curious. They want to see pictures of the ditch he is digging. You show them, but it is really hard to tell by looking at that one ditch he has been working on for years just what all is going on. You try to explain that he spent a lot of time digging out roots and moving rocks, but it sounds like you are making excuses. If you try to tell them about the incident with the wolves, they think you are just blaming everybody else for your husband’s failure to do his job right. You are not really sure how to talk to people about what your husband does. They just do not seem to get it. He still seems so intent on digging that ditch!
Your husband’s boss seems to be content with what he’s done, so that has got to be worth something. One thing is for sure – being the wife of a ditch digger is not at all like you thought it would be. It sure would be nice if everybody understand what your husband really did. But you are so proud of your husband – not because his ditch is the biggest and the longest, but because he is doing it just like his boss asked him to. You are just glad to be the wife of a real, honorable ditch-digger.
I Corinthians 4:9-13 For I think that God hath set forth us the apostles last, as it were appointed to death: for we are made a spectacle unto the world, and to angels, and to men. We are fools for Christ’s sake, but ye are wise in Christ; we are weak, but ye are strong; ye are honourable, but we are despised. Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwellingplace; And labour, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it: Being defamed, we intreat: we are made as the filth of the world, and are the offscouring of all things unto this day.